How to Overcome the Discomfort of Networking, with Felicia Ann Rose Enuha

If you view networking as developing relationships with strangers, it’s time to rethink it. In today’s world of work, networking looks very different. Find Your Dream Job guest Felicia Ann Rose Enuha says your network begins with your own family and friends. Once you reach out to let them know what you’re interested in, they can connect you with people in their own network who may be willing to have a conversation with you. Felicia reminds us that networking is indeed just that – a conversation. Get curious about others’ careers, ask questions, and share your own story with them. 

About Our Guest:

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha is a career coach and the host of the Trill MBA Show. Her podcast empowers Black women to thrive in corporate America.

Resources in This Episode:

• Felicia’s podcast, the Trill MBA Show gives you clear strategies that work for your career as a black woman in the corporate world. 
• Connect with Felicia on LinkedIn. 

Transcript

Find Your Dream Job, Episode 494:

How to Overcome the Discomfort of Networking, with Felicia Ann Rose Enuha

Airdate: March 26, 2025

Mac Prichard:

This is Find Your Dream Job, the podcast that helps you get hired, have the career you want, and make a difference in life.

I’m your host, Mac Prichard. I’m also the founder of Mac’s List. It’s a job board in the Pacific Northwest that helps you find a fulfilling career.

Every Wednesday, I talk to a different expert about the tools you need to get the work you want.

You know you need to network when you do a job search.

But connecting with others may make you feel awkward.

Felicia Enuha is here to talk about how to overcome the discomfort of networking.

She’s a career coach and the host of the Trill MBA Show.

Her podcast empowers black women to thrive in corporate America.

She joins us from Atlanta, Georgia.

Well, Felicia, let’s start with a question about networking. Why does it make so many people feel uncomfortable?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Well, Mac, simply because we’re human. I think we are in our heads a lot and a lot of times people don’t understand that everybody’s afraid of the unknown and uncertainty, and so, when you’re reaching out to someone that you don’t know and you haven’t yet connected or established trust with, that can be scary.

Mac Prichard:

Some people might say that you have to be an extrovert to network. Has that been your experience, Felicia?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Actually, the best networkers are confident introverts because they are very observant, they pay attention, and they’re very thoughtful, and so when they do speak it has a greater impact, but the extroverts, like myself, we are gregarious and we love to take up space and we have to work to make room for our introverted friends, but introverts and extroverts are both subject to being afraid of networking.

Mac Prichard:

What would you say to introverts who might be surprised to hear you make that point about the skills and strengths that introverts bring to networking? Why might people not recognize these qualities?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Because we are conditioned and we are told these stories and it goes back to recognizing limiting beliefs, and I think introverts who really know themselves know that they can turn it on when they need to, so it’s just about having confidence.

Mac Prichard:

In addition to confidence, are there other qualities that good networkers have, that really in the end make it a skill that anyone can learn?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Absolutely, people simply need to get out of their own way. A lot of us are just afraid, and so the first thing that we need to do is own our fear and be honest about the fear we have around networking, that discomfort around feeling fake or feeling like, “Oh, I’m only reaching out to this person because I want something and I may not have something to offer in return.”

We have to let go of that. We have to own our value as human beings. Everybody has something to bring to the table, and even if it’s not an even exchange in the beginning, over time, as you establish rapport and connection, you’ll start to see where synergies form, but if you continue to be afraid to just reach out and say “Hi, I love what you’re doing,” or, “You’re in this role that I would be so interested to learn more about,” then you never get to discover what that is.

Mac Prichard:

I want to talk more about fear and networking but before we get there, Felicia, there’s some myths about networking out there that I’d like you to address. One that I hear a lot is that there’s one way to network, period. Has that been your experience when working with your clients?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

No, there are multiple ways to network because we have multiple levels of connecting points with other humans. You can network with your closest friends and people who are safe with you. I think sometimes we get comfortable with our friends and our family, and we don’t consider them as a part of our working network and our career network. We try to separate life and work when, actually, your career is a part of your life. That’s one level.

The other levels are people that you work with. No matter what level they are, up or down. I think some people discount, also, our administrative and executive assistants. They hold so much power and influence and some people just feel like either, “I can’t talk to them,” or, “I shouldn’t bother them,” or some people may think so highly of themselves that they think, “Oh, well that’s just the admin.” I’m here to tell you, the admin is powerful.

I think people just need to open their eyes and pay attention and be curious about other people, and that’s where you start to realize that you have these multiple layers of opportunity to connect with people, and you never know where those connections are going to lead, especially when you’re searching for your dream job.

Mac Prichard:

How do you do that in a strategic way because it might sound overwhelming to a listener to think, “Well, I need to network with everybody, all the time.” But when you’re doing a job search, how can you be both thoughtful and professional in pursuit of the goal that you’ve set for your search?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Well, first, it starts with that goal and making sure that you have clarity around what you want to accomplish in your career and where you’re going, and then the next step when it comes to networking is you want to look for people who are doing what you’re trying to do, or they’ve accomplished what you’re trying to accomplish.

I always start with ten. Ten is a nice round number and everyone knows ten people, and so you want to write down ten people that you admire, ten people that also you may or may not know, and that’s fine, but they are doing the work that you want to do, or they’ve been down that path and they could have information for you that you may not have and you’re seeking.

You want to write down these ten people and then you want to rank them in order of do I know this person or do I not know this person, and if I know this person how well do I know them? Do I have their phone number? Can I pick up the phone and call them?

You want to start from the inside out, so you want to start with people that you know and that you trust and that you have a connection with, and then you work your way to people that you don’t know, and this warms you up and it takes some of that fear or some of that edge off of making those connections with people that you don’t know.

Mac Prichard:

I want to dig into this as well, in the second segment, Felicia, about how to identify these people and work with them when you do your networking in a strategic way, but before we break, let me ask you this, what happens to people who don’t network when they do a job search? What’s been your experience?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Well, my experience is also backed by social science. There are a number of studies that show that people who opt out of networking severely limit their career opportunities.

Most jobs, what I find, aren’t even posted, and I know you have Mac’s List, and that is wonderful and there are lots of opportunities on job boards but there are also a lot of opportunities coming that sometimes get filled before they’re even posted and so you want to, as a job seeker, be in a position where you network is bringing opportunities to you, but that won’t happen if you don’t speak up and tell them that I’m in the market and here’s what I’m looking for and here’s how I need your help.

That’s why networking is so important.

Mac Prichard:

Well, let’s pause there. We’re going to take a break.

When we come back, Felicia Enuha will continue to share her advice about how to overcome the discomfort of networking.

We’re back in the Mac’s List studio. I’m talking with Felicia Enuha.

She’s a career coach and the host of the Trill MBA Show.

Her podcast empowers Black women to thrive in corporate America.

She joins us from Atlanta, Georgia.

Now, Felicia, before the break, we were talking about how to overcome the discomfort of networking, and we were talking about different networking styles, myths, and what might stop people from feeling good about networking and you touched on the importance of fear and you also touched on the importance of being strategic when networking.

Let’s talk more about fear and how to manage it if you’re feeling uncomfortable when networking. What have you seen be effective ways to manage that fear and to overcome it?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Make it a group activity, and what I mean by that is ask your closest friends and family to connect you to people that they know. Those warm connections can breathe some familiarity and for humans that is everything, because then it doesn’t feel unknown and uncertain and you don’t feel the pressure of showing up in a way that makes the person like you. They already have a connection to you and they already will give you that grace.

Mac Prichard:

What kinds of networking activities are we talking about? Is it going to professional events? Is it meeting with people one-on-one? Give us some specific examples.

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

Those are all great things to do. Go to networking events in your local area when you’re job searching, going to happy hours with old colleagues from other companies, and staying connected to companies that you’ve worked with before. You never know when opportunities may arise there. All of those things are great, but what I really want to focus on when it comes to overcoming the fear and a lot of that is that you fear being judged, is to start with your circle.

Start with the people that you know and work outward to people that they know and that is the most powerful way to connect with people and like-minded people. Most hiring managers, they hire people from their network and I know a lot of job seekers will get a job because they applied online and they got an interview and they went through that whole process, and yes, that happens a lot, but also, what happens is somebody will call me and say, “Hey, do you know someone in your network who could fill this role? I need it filled quickly, and I’m going to take a couple of shortcuts, and I need to make sure I find the right person.”

They lean into areas of already established trust, and that’s what networking helps you to uncover and gives you more opportunities to meet people who may be a fit for you on your job search.

Mac Prichard:

Why do hiring managers tap into their network and reach out to their colleagues and friends and family when they’re filling a position?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

It’s a very human reaction. Human beings are designed in a way to be communal, and trust is built through the connections that we know, and so because trust is huge for human beings, in that, “I need to trust that you have skin in the game, that you are someone I can rely on because of the strength of our network.” There’s already built-in expectations.

So, for example, if I were to refer somebody to a friend of mine who was a hiring manager and hiring for a role on their team, I would be very particular about who I’m referring, and I would make sure that this person was ready to have a great conversation and present themselves in a way that would not only make them look good but make me look good and also make my friend look good.

That’s the power of networks. There’s this trust that everybody is showing up in their A-game.

Mac Prichard:

You mentioned a moment ago, starting with the people who know you well, and I’ve met job seekers who struggle with that. What stops people from contacting colleagues, or friends, or family and asking them for help? What specific fear is at play there, Felicia?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

There’s judgment and shame; that’s what’s driving those fears. There’s judgment of, “I have to ask someone for help, that might make me look weak.” Our egos tell us these lies. Asking for help is actually a strength. Then, you have the fear of the shame, “Oh, I don’t have a job,” or, “Oh, I need help with making this connection. I should be able to do it on my own.”

All of us experience some of that noise from, I don’t know where we pick this stuff up in society, but we all do, and it’s a very human thing but having the courage to reach out and let somebody be a blessing to you, letting a friend be a blessing to you, it helps us all and it makes us all realize that we are not alone and we can work together to all get to where we’re trying to go.

And so if we can overcome those feelings – because that’s all they are, they’re just initial feelings and reactions, they’re not rooted in the truth of the matter – that people do you want to help you and you want to help other people, and so if we can put those feelings aside around the fear of networking, we can all create great opportunities for each other.

Mac Prichard:

So you start with the people that know you well, and in the first segment, you mentioned making a list of 10 people that you admire, who have great careers, and reaching out to them as well.

Tell us more about how you create that list and when you have it, when you make that contact, what are you specifically asking for?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

I always tell people, get out of your own way. Get out of your head. What you want to do is be curious and so when you reach out to either people that you know or people that you don’t know, both times what you want to say is, “Hey, I’ve seen ‘this’ about your career.” It could be something on LinkedIn that they posted, it could be something in the news that happened for the company that they’re currently at. You explain, “I’m curious, how did that happen and I’m intrigued by that type of work. I’d love to learn more about you.”

That’s all you have to do is just be curious about this other person, whether you know them personally and you know them well, or you don’t know them at all. As long as you get curious about what they’re up to and you get them talking about them, that’s where the learning and the connecting starts. It goes back to the human need of, “I trust you when I’m able to share about myself.” You’re building that connection and that trust when you ask people about themselves.

Mac Prichard:

How does reaching out to people who you admire and who you likely may not have met, help you overcome your discomfort with networking?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

It helps you if you start with people you know because it creates a bit of a safe space with the people that you know, and you start to build that muscle of asking questions and getting comfortable having the conversation. It also helps you with somebody that you know and trust if you aren’t quite secure about your story and you haven’t finished crafting it.

Telling your story to someone that you trust, know, and they know that you do good work, maybe you’re not articulating yourself in the best way, those people are going to help you refine that articulation and you’re building that muscle, so then you can go to people that you don’t know or you can go to warm connections and you’ve practiced.

Now that you’ve practiced, you should feel more comfortable and confident to talk to people who are not immediately in your network, maybe you’re third connections, all your weak ties, and studies have shown that the weak tie connections, your secondary or even a third level connection you’re with on LinkedIn, that’s where a lot of our dream job opportunities lie.

Mac Prichard:

Well, it’s been a terrific conversation, Felicia, now tell us, what’s next for you?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

I am launching the new season of The Trill MBA Show. We will be fully video and this year, we will have more episodes. I am so excited about that. In addition, I will be offering more resources and I will be focusing on going to corporations and helping them retain their higher-performing talent. We have a program that focuses on helping people communicate for impact and grow their careers where they are.

We’re really working on saving companies money and helping higher performers find the jobs that they really want in the companies that they love.

Mac Prichard:

Terrific. Well, I know listeners can learn more about you, your work, and your company by visiting your website, trillmba.com. We’ll be sure to include that in the show notes, and that you also invite listeners to connect with you on LinkedIn.

When you do reach out to Felicia, please mention that you heard her on Find Your Dream Job.

Now, Felicia, given all the great advice that you’ve shared today, what’s the one thing you want a listener to remember about how to overcome the discomfort of networking?

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha:

I want people to remember that it’s a skill, and just like all the other skills that you’ve learned along the way, you’re never too old, it’s never too late to pick up the phone and have a conversation, and that’s all networking truly is. It’s just having a conversation, learning more about somebody new, and sharing your story with them.

There’s no need to be afraid. People can’t hurt you. We all just need to love on each other.

Take a deep breath and jump in, unashamed and unafraid.

Mac Prichard:

Next week, our guest will be Angie Callen.

She’s an award-winning career and business coach and the founder of Career Benders.

Her company helps professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs navigate today’s workforce.

Angie also hosts the No More Mondays podcast.

Felicia has given us terrific advice today about how to overcome your discomfort with networking.

But how do you remain true to yourself as you reach out to others?

Join us next Wednesday when Angie Callen and I talk about how to network authentically in your job search.

Until next time, thanks for letting us help you find your dream job.

This show is produced by Mac’s List.

Susan Thornton-Hough schedules our guests and writes our newsletter. Lisa Kislingbury Anderson manages our social media.

Our sound engineer and editor is Matt Fiorillo. Dawn Mole creates our transcripts. And our music is by Freddy Trujillo.

This is Mac Prichard. See you next week.