How to Make Your Network Work for You, with Lisa Virtue

Does the word “network” strike fear in you? Do you wonder if you even have a network of people who would support you? Find Your Dream Job guest Lisa Virtue is here to take the fear out of networking. Lisa suggests using the term “building relationships” instead, as that is something we do naturally. She also reminds us that people love to help, so don’t feel guilty for asking others to have coffee or make an introduction or even a referral for you. But you do have to ask for specific help because if they don’t know what to do, they won’t do anything. 

About Our Guest:

Lisa Virtue is an executive coach who helps you take actionable steps to make your career goals a reality. 

Resources in This Episode:

• Discover all the ways Lisa can help you thrive in your career by visiting her website at www.hercareerstudio.com/services.
• Check out Lisa’s podcast, Her Career Studio. 

Transcript

Find Your Dream Job, Episode 459:

How to Make Your Network Work for You, with Lisa Virtue

Airdate: July 17, 2024

Mac Prichard:

This is Find Your Dream Job, the podcast that helps you get hired, have the career you want, and make a difference in life.

I’m your host, Mac Prichard. I’m also the founder of Mac’s List. It’s a job board in the Pacific Northwest that helps you find a fulfilling career.

Every Wednesday, I talk to a different expert about the tools you need to get the work you want.

Good networking isn’t about collecting business cards.

It’s about getting the people you know and meet to help you.

And not only during a job search but throughout your career.

Lisa Virtue is here to talk about how to make your network work for you.

She’s an executive coach who helps you take actionable steps to make your career goals a reality.

Lisa joins us from Portland, Oregon.

Well, let’s jump right into it, Lisa. Many job seekers just don’t like networking. Why do you think this is so?

Lisa Virtue:

It’s so common to hear networking, just the word alone, and have an implicit bias as negative.

One thing I’ve seen with our American culture, we have a long history of negative connotations with networking, and that is often associated with things like pyramid schemes or dirty salesmen. I think Hollywood has done a good job of feeding that implicit bias.

People also don’t want to appear as if they’re using others. I’ve seen that a lot with my clients as well and in talking to people about this topic. You combine that with family and friend time that discourages us to talk about work, and often, people don’t even know what people in their personal lives do for work or what kind of networks they have or opportunities that could be available.

Mac Prichard:

How does networking help you when you’re looking for work, when you’re doing a job search, Lisa?

Lisa Virtue:

The number one way that it can help is finding those opportunities that sometimes are not even posted and what is called social proof. When people are looking for an opportunity, and they throw their application in, if the recruiter or the hiring manager knows that someone else has said, “It’s really great to work with this person.” Then that is when it rises to the top of the pile, and it will get your resume looked at.

If there are really strong referrals and recommendations in that job search, then that’s when you’ve got those opportunities at your fingertips. Otherwise, it’s just a little bit harder to get to the top of that pile.

Mac Prichard:

I want to talk about those referrals in a moment, but before we get there, can you find a job without networking, Lisa? Is it possible to do that?

Lisa Virtue:

It is possible, for sure. What I find fascinating is that anytime I’m talking to someone, if I’m talking to someone as a career coach, when I’m talking with job seekers, in particular, and they’re saying how daunting the job search is right now, and it’s been a few years since they needed to look for a job and they just can’t believe the market, and we go back, and we evaluate how they go their past positions, more often than not, it’s, “Oh yeah, someone referred me to that.”

“Oh yeah, I knew someone at the company. That’s how I got the opportunity.” So, there’s a lot of different statistics out there. Sometimes, people are saying that 60% of jobs are never even posted because they have a network that finds the right candidates. Other recruiters will say that they post everything, but referrals will definitely help, like I said earlier, rise their resumes to the top of the pile.

It is possible. People have gotten jobs by just applying, but more and more so, we’re seeing that

percentage of having a recommendation or that social proof in a referral is more important to unlock those opportunities.

Mac Prichard:

Getting referrals, creating social proof, those are two results that good networking can produce. What are other examples of what good networking looks like when you’re doing a job search?

Lisa Virtue:

One thing that it really helps with as well is to really build that confidence and help someone, even with their mindset, as they approach the daunting task of a job search. Having people in your corner that you can have conversations with, have virtual or in-person coffee chats with. I find that it really helps people a lot on the mental game of the job search, if you will, in having that support.

A network is also a beautiful thing to have relationships where you’re not in the workplace. Maybe you’ve experienced a lay-off, for instance, and you’re not at work daily and you’re not having those interactions, having a really strong network of people that you can call upon and chat with and talk to will really help through that stressful experience.

Mac Prichard:

You’re a career coach, you work with a lot of job seekers on a regular basis. In your experience, do most candidates have good networking skills?

Lisa Virtue:

Most, no, and that’s why we hear about thousands of applications and people getting really frustrated. I will say that there are a lot of candidates that have good skills and don’t realize it. I think that’s where people have more opportunity to really lean into it, and like we were talking about at the beginning of the conversation, where you’ve got this implicit bias, this feeling of, “I’m using someone if I reach out to them.”

Networking is really that long game, so it’s something to always be doing, and it’s cultivating relationships more than the word “networking” because when we have those relationships, strong and warm, opportunities come from them. As opposed to when you’re in the job search and all of a sudden you think, “I need to go network.”

That’s when it can be really difficult to unlock those opportunities because it’s like a cold call, and you’re in sales. You’re starting very cold.

Making sure we’re doing that in the long game is going to make all of the difference.

Mac Prichard:

Can you network successfully if you’re introverted? Do you have to be an extrovert to be good at networking?

Lisa Virtue:

You absolutely do not need to be an extrovert, and in fact, a lot of my clients who are introverts are the best networkers that I’ve seen and the reason for that is because a superpower that a lot of introverts have is building that one on one personal connection versus being really comfortable in networking events, that traditional connotation that we put with the word. Where you go to a big event, and you’re passing out cards, and you’re meeting people.

That’s more of an extrovert’s strength, but introverts are really good, typically, in my experience, I’ve seen them be really good at cultivating those one-on-one relationships and reaching out one-on-one, so when they do that work, it’s the same outcome as an extrovert, that is really experienced and more comfortable with those bigger events.

Mac Prichard:

Often, when I talk to candidates about networking, I’ll hear that, “Well, why would someone help me? Particularly someone I’ve just met or know slightly or maybe I don’t know at all.” What’s been your experience with that, Lisa, in your work with your clients?

Lisa Virtue:

I think reminding people that people want to help, they just don’t always know how to help, is really important to remember, and when we talk about networking and building those relationships, it’s really a two-way street.

Sometimes, you may have a mentor in your network or someone that’s more of a higher position of authority that can unlock more opportunities than you can for them, but even allowing them to help you is helping them. There’s always two sides of the relationship, and when you approach it that way, building those relationships and also offering help, very specific help, to people in your network as well, it’s really a quid-pro-quo where both parties are benefitting from the relationship.

Mac Prichard:

Another concern that I hear from applicants who are struggling with networking is they might

think that they have no contacts. What do you say to a listener who thinks that they don’t have a network or they don’t know the right people?

Lisa Virtue:

Well, I have an exercise for that, which I call the list of 20. That is just taking the time to sit down and write out 20 people in your world that want the best for you, and this can also be family, friends, anyone that you are in contact with regularly that you know is supportive and has been supportive. Then, going from there, if you have more than 20, just keep writing.

In one column, you’re writing their name; in the next column, how do you know them, what do they do for work, and in the third column, is when was the last time that you reached out to them to say hello?

What I find is that people that feel like they don’t have a network that can support them end up finding at least a half-a-dozen, if not more, that they can take that first move with and go out and have those conversations, find out more maybe, about their work.

For instance, what does Uncle Larry do? Have you ever talked to him? Do you know what kind of network he has? Making sure that you sit back and do the work, and it will come. Everyone has a network, it’s just about have you been cultivating and thinking of it in those terms.

Mac Prichard:

Let’s take a break, and that’s a great segue to our next segment. I really want to dig into how to network and especially about how to make the most of referrals.

Stay with us. When we come back, Lisa Virtue will continue to share her advice on how to make your network work for you.

We’re back in the Mac’s List studio. I’m talking with Lisa Virtue.

She’s an executive coach who helps you take actionable steps to make your career goals reality.

Lisa joins us from Portland, Oregon.

Lisa, before the break, we were talking about how to make your network work for you, and we talked through a lot of the questions that candidates and applicants often have about networking and the strengths and assets that everybody has when they’re getting ready to connect with their network during a job search.

Let’s talk about the how – how to do networking. I know one of your first pieces of advice, and you touched on this in the first segment, is to remember that networking is a long game. Talk more, Lisa, about why it’s important to keep this in mind.

Lisa Virtue:

It’s so important to think about it as relationships. Human beings are social creatures, and the workplace is no exception to that, so we want to work with people that we enjoy being around, that we get along with, and that not only fulfill the skills of the job but also that we trust. That’s why in the job search, it really comes down to that social proof.

As you’re in a job and you’re working, even when you start a new position, it’s really important to think about what kind of relationships can I build here at work. Even LinkedIn, the best time to connect with people is not when you’re leaving a position on LinkedIn but it’s when you’re entering a new role.

Trying to think of it from the beginning of the position, a project. Anytime you’re meeting someone for the first time, looking at that relationship and trying to cultivate it ends up helping you in the long run. When they need something that they can help you with, and you need something from them as well.

Mac Prichard:

What’s your best advice about how to build relationships in a way that is both authentic and productive and isn’t simply transactional?

Lisa Virtue:

I think that’s the key right there, is to not just be transactional about it. It is very easy at work to get into the flow, and a lot of the time when I’m speaking to people about how to shift the mindset, one thing to think about is that people want to connect, and when you’re worried about taking too much time from someone, “Oh thank you. You’re time is precious. I value it, I really appreciate your time.”

That tends to be when we discredit the amount of time it does take to build a relationship, so making sure that we’re building in that time and we’re allowing room to breathe and create connections on a personal scale and talking to people about their personal life, as well as their work life, when it doesn’t detract from the task at hand, I think is really important for everyone to keep in mind.

I have a lot of clients that will run through their day and think later, “Oh, I could’ve stopped, and I could’ve asked a simple question about how their weekend went, and I didn’t do that.” Thinking about those opportunities will help with this.

Mac Prichard:

Are there good habits that focus on building authentic relationships that you recommend people adopt, not only during a job search but throughout your career?

Lisa Virtue:

One really simple habit that I was just talking to a client about – she’s in a leadership role, is just stopping and making eye contact and smiling can slow down the pace of the interaction and the relationship, so that’s one great habit to do right at the beginning of a conversation or an interaction with other humans at work.

Another habit would be anytime you can do coffee with colleagues, either taking a quick walk and a break, and you can still chat about work, so that can make it an “excuse” that it’s not taking time from the day but that always allows when we get up and move and get out of our environment, it always opens up more possibility and allows for more conversations that come away from work and build more of that personal rapport.

Mac Prichard:

Let’s talk about referrals. You mentioned referrals and how important they are in the hiring process in the first segment. Why do employers care so much about referrals?

Lisa Virtue:

I think that’s a summary of everything that we’ve been talking about. For instance, social proof. We want to know that this person not only can do the job but that they’re going to do it in a way that we can trust their work. We want to know that they’re a good person to work with.

If recruiters and hiring managers can cut through hundreds, if not thousands, sometimes, of applications to know who in this pile are good people to work with, that others have recommended, that will always quicken the process.

A lot of times, interviews can be very robotic, and hard to know someone on a personal level, so when we hear social proof of someone else saying that they’ve worked with them and they worked really well with them, that’s where it becomes really helpful in the recruitment process.

Mac Prichard:

I know in your coaching work, you’ve identified three kinds of referrals that really matter. Blind referrals, direct referrals, and trusted referrals, and what I’d like to do, Lisa, is just walk through each one and talk about why they matter, how they work, and how you can get one.

Let’s start with blind referrals. What do you have in mind here? What is a blind referral, and why does it matter, and how can you generate one?

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah, a blind referral is very similar – if you think about when you’re online shopping, take this analogy, and you’re looking at other people’s reviews, people that you’ve never met before, and you’re seeing all five-star reviews, okay, that’s social proofing, but it’s blind because you don’t know the other person.

When it comes to a job search, a blind referral is when someone sends a good word on your behalf to the hiring manager and talks about how they’ve worked with you, in what capacity, and that you’re a great candidate and that it would be worthwhile to have a conversation with them. This piques the interest of the hiring manager to take a look at your resume and want to have a conversation with you because someone has gone out of their way to say that you’re a great person to work with.

That’s what I call a blind referral.

Mac Prichard:

Is that something that you can make happen? Is someone making that referral at your request, or what’s happening here?

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah, sometimes it can happen organically. When you’re talking to someone, and you’re telling them, “This sounds like a great opportunity. I’ve put my name in the hat, and I’ve applied.” Then, if the other person is aware of this tactic, they may go out of their way and help and send a good word on your behalf, but what I find more often is that, again, people want to help, but they don’t know how to, so you can absolutely initiate this and ask your contact, someone within that network of yours with a strong relationship, “Would you be willing to send a quick email on my behalf to the hiring manager? Because I’m really excited about this opportunity, and I’d love to get an interview.”

You help them draft a quick email and ask them very specifically, sending it to this email address, and people are more than willing to help out with that. It only takes them 5-10 minutes, and it’s a very specific way that they can help you. When you make that ask of your contacts, that’s how you can unlock a blind referral.

Mac Prichard:

What about direct referrals? What is a direct referral, Lisa? And how do you get one?

Lisa Virtue:

A direct referral looks more like someone internal to the company directly referring you. So a lot of companies have incentives for current employees to refer people to certain roles. So if there is an opportunity that you know someone that works at the organization or even a third-degree connection, where it’s a friend of yours that knows someone, having a direct referral within the organization say, “I’m referring this person. You should interview them.”

That’s what a direct referral is: a little more direct to the organization.

Mac Prichard:

How do you make that happen?

Lisa Virtue:

The way to make that happen is to also initiate, reach out, keep an eye on your network. This is where platforms like LinkedIn are great because it started out as a networking platform where you can see second-degree connections and third-degree connections within your network, and so if you don’t know someone directly at that company, but you know, let’s say your colleague Sally knows someone or is now at that company, now you can go reach out to them and find out how you can get referred in the organization.

Mac Prichard:

The third kind of referral you recommend people explore and get are trusted referrals. What’s a trusted referral, and how do you make it happen?

Lisa Virtue:

A trusted referral is when the hiring manager, the person responsible for the hiring decision, has

a trusted confidant, friend, relative, or someone in their personal first-degree connection network that comes to them and says, “Oh, you’re looking for,” let’s say it’s a director of marketing, “I know someone. I think you should check them out. I think you should meet them.” And they do an introduction or they pass the information on to the hiring manager.

That trusted referral is really coming from a very trusted source of the decision-maker within the recruiting process. Now, the way to make that happen is to keep all of your relationships, your network very warm so that when they have this (and make sure they know what you’re looking for as well), so when they do have that opportunity to refer you, they’re typically, in this case, they’re going to take that first step, and they’re going to say, “Oh, I know that my friend over here at XYZ company is looking for a director of marketing. I think you’d be great. May I make an introduction? Would you like an introduction?”

They’re going to be primed and looking for those opportunities because you’ve planted the seed with those people.

Mac Prichard:

Well, it’s been a terrific conversation, Lisa. Now, tell us, what’s next for you?

Lisa Virtue:

I am so happy to announce that this year, I have launched my passion project, which is helping mid-career women unlock opportunities and help them thrive at work so that they can thrive at life. And my platform is HerCareerStudio.com.

I also have a podcast, “Her Career Studio,” and so I’d love for people to check out the free resources that we’re offering when it comes to job search, leadership development, anything specific to women at work where they need help to help their career grow.

Mac Prichard:

Perfect. I know listeners can learn more about your work, your services, and your podcast by visiting your website and that URL, again, is HerCareerStudio.com. We’ll be sure to include that in the show notes, and you also invite listeners to connect with you on LinkedIn, and when they do reach out to you, I hope that they’ll mention that they heard you on Find Your Dream Job.

Now, Lisa, given all of the great advice that you’ve shared today, what’s the one thing you want a listener to remember about how to make your network work for you?

Lisa Virtue:

I think the biggest thing besides mindset and shifting that word networking into really building relationships, that would be the first piece of it. I think even more powerful than that is, as you’re doing all of that work, remember to make the ask.

When your network says, “Oh, I’m happy to help. Let me know if I can help.” They truly mean it, but what they typically won’t be doing is going out of their way to find those opportunities for you, but when you make a specific ask and say, “Here’s one way you could help. Would you be willing to do this?” And you give them a really specific way to do that, such as a blind referral or a direct referral, finding someone at the company that they can put a good word in for you, for instance.

People are very willing to do that because then they can actually help you with a specific request, so the more that you make that ask, and then you also offer specific help to your connections and your relationships, the more power your network will provide and will show you in the long run.

Mac Prichard:

Next week, our guest will be Susan Towers.

She’s the founder of Sandymount Search.

Her company offers search, recruiting, and career services for executives.

You have a career goal.

And you know you don’t have the necessary experience and skills it requires.

But using a technique called reverse mapping can help you figure out how to get there.

Join us next Wednesday when Susan Towers and I talk about why you need to think about your career backwards.

Until next time, thanks for letting us help you find your dream job.

This show is produced by Mac’s List.

Susan Thornton-Hough schedules our guests and writes our newsletter. Lisa Kislingbury Anderson manages our social media.

Our sound engineer and editor is Matt Fiorillo. Dawn Mole creates our transcripts. And our music is by Freddy Trujillo.

This is Mac Prichard. See you next week.