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How to Build Effective Relationships When You Network, with Sophia Wellons

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If you see networking as large meet-ups and one-off coffee dates, it’s time to rethink your networking strategy. Find Your Dream Job guest Sophia Wellons stresses the need for building long-term relationships through networking. Networking isn’t simply meeting someone and asking them if they have a job for you; it building relationships that will serve both parties for months or years to come. Sophia says you have to go into these settings with clarity on what you need and how you can help others, along with a willingness to do so. 

About Our Guest:

Sophia Wellons is a recruiter at Galois. Her company specializes in the research and development of new technologies.

Resources in This Episode:

Transcript

Find Your Dream Job, Episode 443:

How to Build Effective Relationships When You Network, with Sophia Wellons

Airdate: March 27, 2024

Mac Prichard:

This is Find Your Dream Job, the podcast that helps you get hired, have the career you want, and make a difference in life.

I’m your host, Mac Prichard. I’m also the founder of Mac’s List. It’s a job board in the Pacific Northwest that helps you find a fulfilling career.

Every Wednesday, I talk to a different expert about the tools you need to get the work you want.

Find Your Dream Job is brought to you by TopResume. TopResume has helped more than 400,000 professionals land more interviews and get hired faster.

Get a free review of your resume today.

Go to maclist.org/topresume.

Your connections with others can make a big difference in your job search.

The people you meet when you look for work can tell you about hidden jobs and give insights into what hiring managers want.

Sophia Wellons is here to talk about how to build effective relationships when you network.

She’s a recruiter at Galois.

Her company specializes in the research and development of new technologies.

Sophia joins us from Portland, Oregon.

Well, let’s get started, Sophia. You’re a recruiter, and you’ve helped hire hundreds of people; why do effective relationships matter so much in hiring?

Sophia Wellons:

Your first introduction to a recruiter or to a hiring manager is the beginning of your relationship in that process; even if the interview doesn’t end in an offer, you have effectively met another human being or a variety of other human beings and formed an impression on them, and they will remember you, so effective relationships are the key in order to both stand out as an applicant, as well as to stand out within your interview, and occasionally, down the line, even if you don’t get the job at the original interview, it might be the key to getting a job in another opportunity as they open up.

So effective relationships are the hiring process, really.

Mac Prichard:

Tell us more about why that matters. Why are connections, even the slightest of connections, so important when recruiters like you are sorting through so many resumes?

Sophia Wellons:

Well, soft skills are deeply important in being successful in a role, so even if you have the technical skills or the ability to do the role, whatever it may be, the technical skills for that role, the ability to work interpersonally with one another is going to be vital and especially as our society evolves with technology and so that is relationship building, that is building trust with one another, that is collaborative communication skills, that is relationship building. It is an indicator of being able to be successful in a role to begin with.

Additionally, you know, many people will say the majority of roles that are open are not posted, and a lot of them are; however, there is having an insight into a role opening up before it’s posted is something you’re going to learn through your network, through the relationships that you build and that will give you an opportunity to apply early or apply to a role that you know more about than what is just on the bullet points of the job description and that all comes from other human connections.

Mac Prichard:

What do you say to a listener who might worry that they don’t have the right relationships? What advice would you have for someone like that?

Sophia Wellons:

Yeah, that’s really hard. You know, personally, for me, some of my strongest relationships have come from working at a variety of different jobs, at different companies that I’ve been at, so if someone is new to the industry or has been out of their industry, or has been in a role for multiple years and hasn’t had any connections outside of that company, that will be a challenge to start building that up from scratch.

I’d say you never know who you know and who they know, so even if you don’t have a professional network in a certain area, your hobbies might have people that are connected to those areas, your friends of friends might have people that are connected in those areas, so really just starting to kind of see, who do you know, and what do you like to do? Who are the people that do those things? And starting to get more involved and out there to meet new people would be a great place to start.

If you’re specifically looking for a role, like right now, connecting with different recruiters (on LinkedIn is an easy way to just connect with them) that are primarily focused on your skill set or your industry would be a great place to start building that from the ground up.

Mac Prichard:

Well, I want to talk more about how to connect with recruiters and how to build effective relationships when networking.

Before we get there, Sophia, in your experience, what stops people from building effective relationships while networking, especially during a job search? What do you see as barriers that prevent people from doing that?

Sophia Wellons:

I think there are a couple of things. One, just personal inclinations, you know, it’s hard and scary to meet new people and sometimes to put yourself out there, and depending on if you’re an introvert or an extrovert, that’s just going to be a challenge in general.

The second thing is, when you’re in job search mode, you have an agenda. You need a job, you want something from other people, and you want it, usually, quicker rather than not, and that comes across, I think, in different conversations, so building authentic and effective relationships are really key in that area, and when you’re going into a relationship wanting something from the other person immediately, that’s what kind of puts people’s guard up.

It’s having patience that is necessary to really build those effective relationships. It’s understanding that you’re connecting authentically with another human being and not necessarily connecting with someone because they can get you a job and that’s where I think a lot of the networking doesn’t maybe necessarily fail but does have those challenges to overcome and to build that trust with another human being.

Mac Prichard:

I know we’re going to talk in a moment about how to build those connections, but I want to go back to a point that you made a moment ago, which is your recommendation that candidates reach out to recruiters, and I hear from job seekers often about this, “I’d like to find recruiters in my field and approach them.”

What’s your best advice about how to do that? Because you’re a recruiter, you hear from people all the time. What works and what doesn’t work, Sophia?

Sophia Wellons:

Finding someone that is specific in your field is going to be key. As a technical recruiter, I can’t really help anyone in the finance field because I don’t have those connections there, so even just going on LinkedIn and finding someone that has a background in what you do or has potential connections to other people in the companies, or follows other companies that are relevant to your skill set, would be helpful. I’ve had people reach out directly on LinkedIn and just check in and ask for an informational call, which is great.

I think the best way to reach out is just a general “get to know you” conversation for some recruiters, in my personal opinion, without going in immediately for to ask of, “Can you get me a job?” That is something that I think will help people stand out as well, but really, LinkedIn would be a great place to start.

Additionally, opportunities and networking events around the town that you’re in, different networking groups, or meetups would be a great place as well. If there are job fairs or career fairs that you could go to that are specific to what you’re looking for, that’s also a great place to have someone one-on-one time with whoever is either directly recruiting for that company or is a recruiting adjacent for that company, and those are all great opportunities just to approach someone and start to get to know them and what they do, what they’re hiring for, who they are, and then just start building that rapport from there.

Mac Prichard:

So, you use LinkedIn and other tools to find the recruiters in your field, whatever your profession might be; you reach out to the recruiter, you ask for a conversation, a virtual meeting, perhaps by Zoom, or an old-fashioned telephone call. What should your expectations be for that call, and what does success look like at the end of that conversation from a candidate’s point of view?

Sophia Wellons:

It kind of depends on what the candidate is hoping to receive from that as well. You know, a great success would be, “Hey, I have an opportunity open, and you’re the perfect candidate for it. Let’s talk.” That might not happen right now in the environment we’re in, so a success to me, if I were in that position, would just be a call. The person responded; we had an informational call; I have more context about what the company is, who they’re hiring for, who this person is, and what the company’s like. And then maybe a follow-up cadence that you could be comfortable going with.

Either just checking back in with that recruiter, asking, “Can I check in every month, every quarter, just to see how things are going?” And then see if that rapport has been established; you can do that, but really success is going to depend on what you’re looking for, your timeline. The recruiters that you reach out to are all going to have likely different abilities to help, too, so I think success, on a low level, would be getting that call and getting that connection started.

Mac Prichard:

What mistake do you see job seekers make when they reach out to recruiters and try to maintain a relationship over time?

Sophia Wellons:

Yeah, the first mistake is just reaching out to a recruiter that’s not relevant to your field. A lot of recruiters specialize, sometimes in very niche environments, so making sure that you’re reaching out to the ones that will have roles or companies or contacts in the field that you’re interested in would be helpful.

Another one is kind of coming straight out of the gate with an ask. You know, “Can you find me a job? Do you have anything that you’re hiring?” Then, if they don’t, giving up on that relationship because you never know what might happen later down the line.

Then a third is maybe letting things fall off. It’s hard to keep in contact with people in general, especially if the answer is, “Hey, not yet.” “Hey, not yet.” Just making sure that you’re organized and checking in every once in a while with the few people that you have consistently is probably going to be the key to success and oftentimes one of the hardest things to maintain.

Mac Prichard:

Well, terrific. I want to take a break.

When we come back in the second segment, Sophia, I want to talk about your ideas for how to build effective relationships while you’re networking during a job search.

Stay with us, and we’ll be back in a moment.

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Now, let’s get back to the show.

We’re back in the Mac’s List studio. I’m talking with Sophia Wellons.

She’s a recruiter at Galois.

Her company specializes in the research and development of new technologies.

Sophia joins us from Portland, Oregon.

Now, Sophia, before the break, we were talking about our topic today: how to build effective relationships when you network, but we dug in a little bit about how to talk to recruiters. It’s a question I get a lot from listeners; I suspect you do as well.

Now, I’d like to really walk through your tips for how to build those effective relationships, especially when you’re networking during a job search.

One of your tips, and you touched on this in the first segment, was to go to events that interest you. What kind of events do you recommend someone attend in order to build effective relationships, and what should they do when they get there?

Sophia Wellons:

Yeah, that’s a great question. There are oftentimes job fairs, career information fairs, and networking meetups within different cities that are specifically focused on business connections, and I think those are great, especially because people are in a similar mindset and are also looking, potentially, for those roles, too.

What I also suggest is just looking at the things that you enjoy doing. In Portland, there is PDX Women in Technology (PDX WIT closed in March of 2024) that has really fun events and happy hours and talks. There are other companies that help facilitate different tech talks or just general lectures as well. There’s also just general interest groups too, dancing, running groups; I think pickleball has really picked up recently in the general culture of the world.

Those are all going to attract people from different walks of life, as well. Whether they can help you immediately in your job search or not, potentially yes, potentially no, but they would be opportunities for you to authentically build connections with another person, and that other person will then know you and know you as a person and not necessarily just a job seeker, and I would absolutely say, let them know that you’re looking, let them know what you do, without any expectations, while you build those connections, and maybe take care of yourself and your own mental health by engaging in things that you do enjoy and things might come out from there.

You never know who will be able to help you that might not be traditionally related to a job search networking event.

Mac Prichard:

How do you strike that balance, especially at non-professional events, of both connecting with people personally and letting them know that you’re doing a job search? What have you seen work, Sophia?

Sophia Wellons:

Yeah, I think having the job search not be the forefront of your conversation on those more personal hobbies is good advice, but don’t be ashamed to admit it that you’re unemployed or that you’re looking or that you might be looking to change jobs at any given point.

I would say most people, when you meet them, usually ask, “What do you do?” That’s a very early-on conversation, so I think that it would be more than fine to talk about that at that given point, but I wouldn’t lead with that as the goal of the relationship when you’re doing more of the interpersonal hobby work, but it is something that can potentially help and potentially help in a way that isn’t as stressful as going to a networking event.

When it comes to the networking events, you’re looking at opportunities and people that are aligned with your professional interests as well, so you know, lean all in but continue to ask interpersonal questions for them as well, get to know them as people. It doesn’t always have to be centered around a job search or a career or career projects; they can be, “What are your weekend plans?” “What do you want to do this summer?”

And those types of small talk, interpersonal communication, can also help build enough rapport and trust so that when you do get to the conversation around, “This is the job that I’m looking for, I’d really like to work for you.” It’s maybe received a little bit more gentle.

Mac Prichard:

How can taking an interest in other people help you build better relationships? Especially when you’re networking.

Sophia Wellons:

I think that’s how you build relationships in general. You have to look out for yourself, of course, but building relationships isn’t looking internally; it’s looking externally; it’s caring about another person, so I think at any given point, it’s showing up and being conscientious of the person that you’re talking to, having a two-way conversation, so it’s about them as well as you. People like to talk about themselves too, so that’s going to leave them feeling good and feeling like you cared and were interested in them too, and of course, that goes both ways as well. Make sure it’s a healthy connection, but that’s going to be key to building relationships.

Having curiosity about another person helps build trust that you are interested and that you do care, and that you are there to work with them and not just for what you can get from them. I think that’s where a lot of networking events are challenging. There’s already this moment of, “Okay, people are here because they want something from me.” But really, you need to go into it with, “Okay, how can I connect to another person?” Maybe that will yield some good results, maybe it won’t immediately, but that, I think, is more of a mindset that benefits long-term than the immediate, “What can I get from this person?” “What can they do for me?”

It’s a lot of, “What can I do for them?” And, “How can we build a relationship together?”

Mac Prichard:

Do you have a favorite question or questions, Sophia, that you recommend asking to demonstrate your curiosity in others and help connect with people that you’re perhaps meeting for the first time?

Sophia Wellons:

Oh, that’s a good question. I don’t know, actually. I generally just strike up a conversation about what’s going on around me or what the event’s about. I think an easy one is, “Hey, what do you do? What are you looking for here?” And then just kind of going from there. I think my favorite question as a recruiter to ask another person is, “What do you want to do? What makes you happy? What do you enjoy the most?”

And I think that’s a nice open-ended question that you can adapt to different situations because people like to think about, “What do I enjoy the most? What does make me happy?” And then, when people are passionate about something or interested in something, they want to talk about it, and then that usually sparks a nice conversation back and forth if it’s something that you’re also interested in learning more about.

Mac Prichard:

How do you recommend staying connected with someone that you meet at a professional event after the event is over? What have you seen work?

Sophia Wellons:

You know, it’s kind of, a gradual approach, so checking in every once in a while. Depending on the level of relationship that you’ve built there, maybe you share an article that you found interesting, maybe checking in if they’re going to another event that you are going to. I would say maybe every other week, maybe once a month, just depending on the temperature of the room there.

I wouldn’t go all in super quickly; like in any kind of friendship or relationship that you’re building, you kind of want to make a gradual approach to that. Maybe it’s asking them out to coffee one-on-one to learn more about their field or just doing an informational interview as well. I think that’s a great way to start, and from there, you just figure out, depending on the person that you’ve connected with, what makes most sense.

Mac Prichard:

You mentioned, both in this segment and our last segment, the importance of connecting with people outside of professional circles when you’re doing a job search. Tell us more about why that can be invaluable. How can telling the people at your running club or your faith community that you’re looking for work help you, not only build effective relationships but help with your networking?

Sophia Wellons:

Yeah, I mean, at that point, potentially, they know you as a person, so they know a little bit more dimensions of you that they’ve built that trust and that rapport with, and so they’re kind of already vouching for you with their own network. You’ve got someone that’s already in your corner, and so that’s really helpful just in general, and then you never know who other people know.

People are highly connected, and if you haven’t been in the workforce for a while or you’re kind of transitioning out of a career long-term, you might be talking to someone who’s been in three different jobs who’s like, “Oh my gosh, I know this person in this company; you’d be really great there, and I know this person in this other company.” And the couple of degrees of separation might get you connected to the right person, and you just never know about that.

I’d say never close any doors that you might have available to you that you are unaware of.

Mac Prichard:

Terrific.

Well, it’s been a great conversation, Sophia. Now, tell us, what’s next for you?

Sophia Wellons:

Yeah, I’m currently working at Galois as a recruiter and internship program manager. I’m really focusing on long-term relationship management and engagement. So we are building a strong collaborative culture with our candidates and people that we hire long-term.

Mac Prichard:

Terrific. Well, I know listeners can learn more about you and your work by visiting the Galois website and that URL is lifeatgalois.com. We’ll be sure to include that in the show notes as well, and that you invite listeners to connect with you on LinkedIn, too, and when they do reach out to you, I hope they’ll mention that they heard you on Find Your Dream Job.

Now, Sophia, given all the great advice that you’ve shared today, what’s the one thing you want a listener to remember about how to build effective relationships when you network?

Sophia Wellons:

Be authentic, you know. People can tell when you’re genuine and when you’re not, and the best places to work are the places where you can be yourself, so I would say go into every conversation just authentically yourself and genuinely interested and invested in those relationships.

Mac Prichard:

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Next week, our guest will be Cassie Ademola. She’s a human resources leader, career brand polisher, and professional resume writer.

Cassie has looked at thousands of resumes.

And she sees job seekers regularly leave out five important elements that matter to employers.

Wouldn’t you like to know what they are?

Join us next Wednesday when Cassie Ademola and I talk about what your resume is missing.

Until next time, thanks for letting us help you find your dream job.

This show is produced by Mac’s List.

Susan Thornton-Hough schedules our guests and writes our newsletter. Lisa Kislingbury Anderson manages our social media.

Our sound engineer is Matt Fiorillo. Ryan Morrison at Podfly Productions edits the show. Dawn Mole creates our transcripts. And our music is by Freddy Trujillo.

This is Mac Prichard. See you next week.