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Why Losing A Job Can Be a Gift, with Nicole Serena Silver

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Your career is not your life. It’s also not what defines you. So, while losing your job can be a blow, Find Your Dream Job guest Nicole Serena Silver likes the alternative view- that it can also be a gift. Nicole encourages job seekers to take those inherent qualities they have and figure out how to apply them to a new position or even a whole new field. Now is the time to pursue that dream job you’ve always wanted, says Nicole. You are never too old to begin again, and no matter how long you’ve been in your position or field, there are a plethora of opportunities for you if you’re willing to do the work. 

About Our Guest:

Nicole Serena Silver is the author of the career clarity guidebook Vekita Full Potential. 

Resources in This Episode:

Transcript

Find Your Dream Job, Episode 464:

Why Losing A Job Can Be a Gift, with Nicole Serena Silver

Airdate: August 21, 2024

Mac Prichard:

This is Find Your Dream Job, the podcast that helps you get hired, have the career you want, and make a difference in life.

I’m your host, Mac Prichard. I’m also the founder of Mac’s List. It’s a job board in the Pacific Northwest that helps you find a fulfilling career.

Every Wednesday, I talk to a different expert about the tools you need to get the work you want.

It’s painful to lose your job.

But unemployment also can create opportunity.

Nicole Serena Silver is here to talk about why losing a job can be a gift.

She’s the author of the career clarity guide, Vekita Full Potential.

Nicole also writes for Forbes on the future of work and professional development.

She joins us from the San Francisco Bay area.

Well, let’s get started, Nicole. You work with a lot of job seekers. What kind of reactions do you see when someone loses a job?

Nicole Serena Silver:

Sure, it tends to be fear. People jump into fear, and understandably so. To disrupt somebody’s income, their livelihood, it makes sense that that’s a fearful moment, and they jump into it, and it can be really detrimental, actually, just jumping right in, especially if you’re operating out of fear. People can feel that, and I think we’ve all experienced interactions with somebody who is coming from a place of feeling desperate versus somebody who’s secure and confident.

If you just pause and check in with yourself and how that feels when you’re interacting with those types of people, you can tell that you would be more inclined to interact with somebody who’s more secure and confident.

Mac Prichard:

You mentioned fear. Are there other emotions that are common after a job loss?

Nicole Serena Silver:

Oh, tons. I think every individual is unique in how they experience their job loss, but what I’ve seen in terms of patterns is that there’s that fear and that scarcity mindset that pushes them to just jump right back into the job search. When really that is not the most ideal thing to do.

This is an opportunity for them to pause and really reset their lives, and reset it in a way in which they can really truly thrive and which is more aligned with them, which is better for them and better for the employer as well.

Mac Prichard:

You mentioned that sometimes people will react to a job loss by sending out lots and lots of applications, especially immediately after getting the news. Is that a good strategy, Nicole?

Nicole Serena Silver:

No, I wouldn’t say it’s a good strategy. I mean, it does serve to be able to go out there and get a bunch of different job applications out there, but it’s more beneficial when you’re really attuned to who you are and what you want to be doing so that you can create jobs and reflect the jobs that are aligned and employers will note that. Not just that, it’s really important not to just send out a bunch of applications, especially in today’s day and age, because network plays such a big key in being able to get your job.

I think it’s 80% of all jobs that are not necessarily listed, or if they are listed, they’re listed for show, so it’s really important to access your network during this time.

Mac Prichard:

Are there other mistakes that you see people make after a job loss? Besides sending out lots and lots of applications.

Nicole Serena Silver:

You know, other pieces that I see is really the missed opportunity of taking time to be able to pause and think and reset your career to one that is in more alignment with you. There is a huge opportunity that I feel so many people miss, and it truly saddens me because the energy and time is nonrefundable; you just don’t get that back. So many people have gone into their career path as a default, and they aren’t actually doing what it is that they’re good at or that they love doing, or maybe they are good at it, but they don’t love doing it, or vice versa.

You always want to get to the sweet spot where you love what you’re doing, and you’re good at what you’re doing, and taking that time to really reflect is crucial and key, and you’re never too old to redo this. I think one of the pieces that I see sometimes in our society is that a lot of people who are mid-career, they feel like they’ve already gone down the path of having to stick to their career choices, and it’s a misnomer, and in fact, it’s a mistake sometimes too.

There’s actually a psychology concept in that when you start going down a path, you feel like you have to buy into it, and you feel like you have to keep going with whatever it is, but this is a moment where you can break that and really step into this more consciously versus default in terms of what you want to be doing and set your life up to be more fulfilling and more successful so that you can look back at your life when you’re 100 years old and really be proud of what it is that you did.

Mac Prichard:

Job loss offers you the opportunity to hit the reset button. What do you say to someone who’s considering that but thinks that, to your point, they have invested so much in their current field and their current occupation that it’s just too late to start over?

Nicole Serena Silver:

I would say it’s never too late, never. I actually did a lot of research in people who were older and reset their careers. There’s even models that I found that started modeling at the age of 70. Don’t get in your own way. There are so many possibilities that are just waiting for you, and what usually tends to happen is that somebody blocks their own path. Don’t let that happen, and ensure that you can live a life in which you are really happy.

Mac Prichard:

Many people may think it’s too late to hit that reset button and pursue new opportunities after a job loss. What are some of the other objections you hear from job seekers who think they just need to keep doing what they’ve been doing?

Nicole Serena Silver:

One of the things that I’ve found, and when I was having a conversation with one of my friends who worked for corporate and got laid off, she was talking about how a lot of people in her profession who also got laid off are chasing after the golden handcuffs, and it’s really turned into a routine. It’s what people know, where they’re looking for money first and foremost and kind of circling back to starting to feel desperate, employers will pick up on that piece, and if you’re just chasing after the money and not showing your passion for what the job is, that it will actually work against you and what it is that you’re trying to accomplish in getting yourself hired.

Taking that pause to really take of yourself and step into make conscious choices for what it is that you want, and knowing how you want to be approaching each of these jobs instead of just throwing out a bunch of different resumes is incredibly helpful for actually being able to land the job that you want.

Mac Prichard:

This is terrific, Nicole.

We’re going to take a quick break. When we come back, Nicole Serena Silver will continue to share her advice on why losing a job can be a gift.

We’re back in the Mac’s List studio. I’m talking with Nicole Serena Silver.

She’s the author of the career clarity guidebook, Vekita Full Potential.

Nicole also writes for Forbes on the future of work and professional development.

She joins us from the San Francisco Bay area.

Now, Nicole, before the break, we were talking about why losing a job can be a gift, and we talked about how people react after a job loss; it’s normal to feel fear and financial pressure, and you made the point that there’s an opportunity here, too. We talked about some of the objections and concerns that people might have with seeing it as an opportunity.

Let’s talk now about what to do next. You are ready to hit the reset button. What should you do, Nicole, if you want to make the most of this opportunity?

Nicole Serena Silver:

Absolutely, there’s a lot of different ways that you can start touching into what is next for you. I always like the tactic of reflecting on what energizes you, what you feel neutral with, and what depletes you. It’s always a really good indicator in terms of what you should be doing more of and less of. Really taking the time to reflect on what it is that you want to be doing, and sometimes, I know a lot of people are hesitant because it is a lot of work to really take that time to look at all of the pieces of who you are, what careers are out there, and then actually putting together a plan, but what you’re doing in doing that is building a future in which you’ll be happy.

Putting in the work, which can take maybe two or three months of time, can lead to a lifetime of happiness, and it’s so worth it. It’s an opportunity that no one should be missing during this period of time.

Mac Prichard:

How do you get started, and what do you do once you do start?

Nicole Serena Silver:

Yeah, well, I’ve created a framework, and the framework is really around self-reflection. That’s the first step: looking at all of the intricate parts of who you are because you can’t move forward with what it is that you want to do without understanding who you are. Everything from personality to what are your values to, as I was talking about, what energizes you and depletes you.

What values do you have not just with business but personal values? And what kind of work-life balance do you want? As well as looking at budget and all of those different pieces, and after you understand all of the intricate parts of who you are and the lifestyle that you want, then you can pare that by uncovering and researching different types of jobs. You can go online and do different Google searches with different keywords. You can start talking to people.

I also love the idea of going into the world and just being open and asking yourself, “What can I fall in love with today?” And it might be even that you go and flip through magazines and you get inspired, like, “Wow, that looks really interesting.” But just staying wide open without putting limitations on yourself is one of the really important key steps after you’ve identified all of the intricate parts of who you are.

Then, as things come up, you’re able to stay open, grab as many ideas as possible, and then you’ll filter that out and find your top three jobs, and from your top three jobs, do informational interviews and make sure that you’re really clear on what those jobs are because sometimes jobs on paper look really good but the actual tasks of every day could be very different.

Then, create a plan for success, and a piece that is also really important that I think a lot of people tend to miss is looking at company culture, company size, and that’s an important key piece because some people might actually really love the job that they found for themselves and end up in a place where it’s not the fit because of culture and mistake that for not loving the job, but it’s actually the culture, so if they switch cultures, they actually really love the job.

Mac Prichard:

I’m hearing multiple parts here. Self-reflection, trying to figure out what it is that you want, identifying, ideally, three top jobs that interest you, then go out and talk to people who are doing that work to find out if this is indeed something that you want to do, build a plan for finding those positions that you do settle on, and also understanding company culture.

I’m curious, Nicole, self-reflection- are there exercises or structures that you’ve seen that are particularly helpful for people who might not know how to do that on their own or are looking for ways to organize their self-reflection and turn it into results to identify those top three jobs?

Nicole Serena Silver:

Absolutely, yeah, well, I mean, that’s what I created with my guidebook. It’s a structure, and it’s broken down even into weeks in helping you identify all of those parts because I think how it’s worked in the career development industry is that you get bits and pieces that are kind of all over the place. What I’ve done is I’ve brought them all together into one place.

One of the things that I really recommend, because self-reflection is incredibly hard, is to find somebody to go through this process with. I know, even for myself, going through content can be incredibly difficult. Having an accountability buddy or a group sometimes, book clubs, or maybe even people who all got laid off at the same time to go through this process together is really, really helpful for accountability and actually getting through it.

Mac Prichard:

You mentioned identifying three jobs that interested you. Why three? Why not five or one? What’s magical about that number, and how can exploring several options help you get clarity about what you want to do next and make the most of this opportunity?

Nicole Serena Silver:

Yeah, absolutely. Well, you start with a lot of jobs, and then you narrow that down to three, and why three is the magic number is because it gives you the diversity of really seeing what those jobs exactly are and being able to hone in on that one job that you want. More than three can feel overwhelming. Three is very doable, especially if you’re going to be conducting informational interviews.

One of the other things that I’d like to note here, Mac, is that I feel like one of the things that is a misnomer when it comes to our jobs is that we’re only supposed to have this one job and this one passion and that’s just not the case when it comes to careers. Things shift. How I see us is kind of like a tree.

The roots of who we are stay consistent, so we have inherent patterns that follow us throughout our lives, but then, as we evolve, things can change. Perspectives can change, life can change, you might have a baby or a parent that needs taking care of, or you need to move somewhere. As these things change, there might be different jobs that are aligned with that coherent patterns that run throughout you.

It’s kind of like all of the different jobs that are possible can be like the branches of the tree. It’s about finding which branch is the most alive for you in this stage of your life, and it might be that you’re fortunate enough that you do find one specific career and that’s it, but it’s also okay if you do end up moving into the different branches and there are transferable skills because, again coming back to the roots, the core of who you are stays the same, which means those skills that you have stay the same, and you can find ways to translate them if you ever do want to switch your career.

Mac Prichard:

Well, it’s been a terrific conversation, Nicole. Now, tell us, what’s next for you?

Nicole Serena Silver:

Yeah, so I’m really excited about getting my guidebook more out there, and I’m now working on an entrepreneurial guidebook to help people figure out, if they are starting a career, what is the best way to go about entrepreneurship because, again, there’s a lot of concepts out there that haven’t been really narrowed in and that help you find the best path for you versus a generic entrepreneurial path.

Mac Prichard:

Well, congratulations on the forthcoming book, and I know listeners can learn more about you and your work by visiting your two websites, Vekita.co as well as nicoleserenasilver.com, and you also invite listeners to connect with you on LinkedIn, and when you do reach out to Nicole on LinkedIn, please mention that you heard her on Find Your Dream Job.

Now, Nicole, given all of the great advice you’ve shared today, what’s the one thing you want a listener to remember about why losing a job can be a gift?

Nicole Serena Silver:

I would say, don’t wait. Don’t wait to create a life that you love.

Mac Prichard:

Next week, our guest will be Dorothy Mashburn.

She’s an interview and negotiation coach.

Dorothy is passionate about teaching women the skills they need to land great jobs that pay well.

Salary negotiation starts before you send your first job application.

To get the pay you want, you need to know what you want to earn.

Join us next Wednesday when Dorothy Mashburn and I talk about why you need a salary goal at the start of your job search.

Until next time, thanks for letting us help you find your dream job.

This show is produced by Mac’s List.

Susan Thornton-Hough schedules our guests and writes our newsletter. Lisa Kislingbury Anderson manages our social media.

Our sound engineer and editor is Matt Fiorillo. Dawn Mole creates our transcripts. And our music is by Freddy Trujillo.

This is Mac Prichard. See you next week.