How to Network Like an Extrovert (Even if You’re Shy)

My colleagues at Mac’s List and I share a singular interest: We enjoy going to receptions, association lunches and other public events and talking to strangers.

We recognize, however, that many people have a different feeling about meeting and chatting up new people. Plenty of people don’t like to network because they are introverted or shy.

But to succeed in today’s job market, you need to stay in touch with your current contacts and add new ones through regular networking.

If the idea of walking into a professional event fills you with fear, here are 10 tips for how to network like an extrovert no matter what the results of your Myers-Briggs test:

1. Manage Expectations

Begin by knowing what you want. You don’t have to walk away with a job offer for an event to be a success. Focus on building and maintaining relationships.

2. Set Goals

Have a specific goal such as meeting new people and reconnecting with current contacts and former colleagues. Typically, I talk to three to five new people and chat with contacts I don’t see often.

3. Ditch Officemates

It’s tempting to stick to coworkers you see every day. Instead, strike out on your own. Remember: You’re there to grow your network.

4. Approach Others

See someone standing alone? They will be secretly relieved when you walk up, introduce yourself, and start a conversation.

Not sure about joining a small group? Look for friendly body language and casual conversation, good signals they are open to talking with others.

5. Have an Introduction

A simple hello, an exchange of names and handshakes, and a question about how someone came to be at the event are enough to break the ice.

6. Keep the Conversation Going

Open-ended questions work best. Ask about someone’s involvement in the sponsoring organization, connection to the host, or how far they’ve traveled.

7. Be a Host

Make introductions and invite others to join a group. People will be grateful and remember your kindness.

8. Do Good Turns for Others

Does a conversation reveal common interests and bring to mind related websites, articles, or other helpful material? Offer to pass along this information. This allows you to be a resource and gives a legitimate reason to exchange business cards.

9. Meet on LinkedIn

Have a good conversation with someone? Send a LinkedIn invitation in order to remain connected. Avoid the standard text and write a personal note.

10. Stay Connected

Consider asking for – or giving – an informational interview. This could be a formal meeting in an office, a quick cup of coffee, or a lunch. If you’re attending a regular lunch or event sponsored by a professional group, look for people you’ve met before.